A Variable Darkness: 13 Tales Read online

  PRAISE FOR JOHN MCILVEEN

  "A Variable Darkness is a veritable feast of darkness, in infinitely varied shades. Great stories, great variety. Don't miss it!"

  --F. Paul Wilson, bestselling author of The Adversary Cycle

  and The Repairman Jack Series

  “With A Variable Darkness, John McIlveen has leveled up. These stories are the perfect blend of heartache and heartless, somehow simultaneously unflinching and brutal, with a trademark thread of dark humor. This collection deserves your attention. I can’t wait to see what he does next!”

  --Christopher Golden, New York Times bestselling author of

  Red Hands

  “John McIlveen’s A Variable Darkness is a breathtaking collection. Its stories run the gamut from wise, lushly written prose to modern, witty tales. Each story dives beneath the surface and contains fathoms. I thought about “Nobody’s Daughter” for days.”

  --Mercedes M. Yardley, Bram Stoker Award-winning author

  of Little Dead Red

  “Reading John M. McIlveen's stories feels like listening to a seasoned storyteller weave words into magic around a campfire. The stories in this collection are scary, sad, funny, heartwarming, and make you think a little more deeply about the people we see around us every day. He gives us witches, goddesses, aliens, smelly ghosts, and so much more to make you laugh, cry, or send a shiver down your spine.”

  --Michelle Renee Lane, Bram Stoker Award nominated

  author of Invisible Chains

  Praise for his Bram stoker award nominated novel

  HANNAHWHERE

  “Hannahwhere is a revelation. This constantly surprising novel has some very dark moments, but John McIlveen's clean, clear prose carries you through them and back into the light of the good, decent people who fuel this story with their desperate efforts to do the right thing. Hannah herself is a joy. If she were up for adoption, I'd be the first in line.”

  --F. Paul Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of the

  Repairman Jack series

  "From the very first line of Hannahwhere, you know you're in good hands. John McIlveen raises a compelling new voice with a story that is at once playful and frightening, thrilling and heartbreaking. Highly recommended."

  --Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestselling author

  "Love it, love it, LOVE IT!"

  --Rick Hautala, bestselling author of The Demon's Wife

  “Hannahwhere is everything a book should be--filled with unforgettable characters, fast-paced, and a page-turner. I loved it!”

  --Heather Graham, New York Times bestselling author

  "Hannahwhere is a thrilling, emotionally complex paranormal mystery. The little girls at the center of the story will touch your heart and unsettle you, all at the same time. A wonderful first novel from an exciting new voice in genre fiction."

  --Christopher Golden, New York Times bestselling author of

  Red Hands

  Praise for INFLICTIONS

  "McIlveen paints with a broad palette of colors, and he blends them and highlights them with a master's touch. Tragedy and comedy, vengeance and salvation, hope and horror, the absurd and the sublime, all skillfully worked into the same pages and presented here for our enjoyment."

  --James A. Moore, author of The Seven Forges series

  "Shocking, moving, and always surprising, John McIlveen's Inflictions will delight and terrify the reader in equal measures. A solid collection from a talented writer."

  -- Tim Lebbon, author of Coldbrook

  “John’s not afraid…he pulls no punches.”

  --Christopher Golden, New York Times bestselling author

  "A disturbing and thoroughly entertaining creepfest. So much wicked fun."

  --Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestselling author

  “The writing is so strong, and the stories so expertly crafted, that their unflinching nature is all the more visceral. Inflictions is as fine a collection of horror stories as I’ve read in the past ten years.”

  --Rio Youers, author of WESTLAKE SOUL.

  “No matter the subject or narrative, in Inflictions, McIlveen never fails to engage the reader. Inflictions is highly recommended.”

  --Tony Tremblay, Stoker nominated author of The Moore

  House

  “McIlveen's writing wraps around you like tentacles from a fog, and drags you into the ferocious mists kicking and screaming.”

  -- Dr. Alex Scully – Hellnotes

 

  A VARIABLE DARKNESS

  Thirteen Tales

  by

  John McIlveen

  Haverhill House Publishing LLC

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Eve first appeared in Wicked Tales (2015 NEHW Press)

  In Agatha Craggins’s Defense first appeared in Wicked Witches (2016 NEHW

  Press)

  Got Your Back first appeared in Anthology III: Dying Distant Ember (2014 Four

  Horsemen)

  Eye of the Beholder first appeared in Borderlands 6 (2016 Borderlands Press)

  A Trunk Story first appeared in A Sharp Stick to the Eye (2018 Books & Boos Press)

  Yankee Swap first appeared in Hark the Herald Angels Scream (2018 Random

  House)

  Teacher’s Pet first appeared in Northern Frights (2017 Grinning Skull Press)

  Frontrunners first appeared in Dystopian States of America (2020 Haverhill House)

  Triggers first appeared as a limited-edition chapbook (2017 Twisted Publishing)

  A VARIABLE DARKNESS © 2021 John M. McIlveen

  Hardcover - 978-1-949140-26-2

  Paperback - 978-1-949140-25-5

  Cover illustration and design © 2021 David Dodd

  All rights reserved.

  For more information, address:

  Haverhill House Publishing

  643 E Broadway

  Haverhill MA 01830-2420

  www.haverhillhouse.com

  For my mother-in-law, Geraldine Colasanti, whose gentle spirit and love for the written word are an inspiration.

  Grazie mille

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Very special, heartfelt thank you to:

  Chris & Connie Golden, Tony Tremblay, and John & Dianne Buja -- true friends through and through.

  Maverick and Walker -- for making us smile.

  Linda Nagel, and again, Dianne Buja -- for your editorial skills and for kicking me in shape where needed.

  David Dodd -- for your consistently brilliant cover art and uncanny editor’s eye.

  And, as always, my Roberta. The reasons are beyond measure.

  INDEX

  Introduction by Tony Tremblay1

  Eve5

  In Agatha Craggins’s Defense18

  Got Your Back28

  Eye of the Beholder65

  A Trunk Story84

  Nobody’s Daughter107

  The Making of Monsters131

  A Perspective159

  Yankee Swap161

  Teacher’s Pet189

  From a Purr to a Roar207

  Frontrunners236

  Triggers244

  Afterword by Izzy Lee263

  A VARIABLE DARKNESS

  INTRODUCTION

  Tony Tremblay

  John McIlveen and I first crossed paths in 2010, our introduction facilitated by friend and publisher Nanci Kalanta at a horror convention called Necon. John was busy selling books and taking time to talk to everyone who stopped by his table, so our meeting was short. Despite the brevity of the
encounter, my first impression of the man was more than favorable; his sense of humor won me over immediately.

  Two years later, Nanci, Chris Jones, and I were putting together an anthology called Eulogies II, and Nanci suggested we ask John to contribute. He sent in two stories, both of which were so explicitly outrageous and dark Nanci balked at accepting them. Chris and I loved both stories and convinced Nanci to accept the tamer of the two. While discussing those stories with John, between our laughter and a shared morbid sense of humor, a friendship was born—as was a name change. He told me all his friends call him “Mac.”

  Soon afterward, I picked up Mac’s first collection of short stories titled JERKS and Other Tales from a Perfect Man. The stories were hilarious, weird, and heartwarming. I craved more. When his second collection, INFLICTIONS was released, I jumped on it. The breath of the stories stunned me. These tales highlighted Mac’s ability to terrorize, his unique sense of humor, a prowess at pulling heartstrings, and shone a spotlight on his literary aptitude. The collection also hinted at a bent toward existentialism, which would fully manifest itself in HANNAHWHERE, his bestselling, Drunken Druid Award winning and Bram Stoker Award nominated novel. Those stories in INFLICTIONS stayed with me for years and, fortunately for me, Mac never tires of discussing them over dinner or a top-shelf margarita.

  My friendship with Mac blossomed over the years. I beamed with pride when the aforementioned HANNAHWHERE (Crossroads Press) was published to universal praise. I was awed when he started his own award-winning publishing company (Haverhill House) that publishes both high profile and first-time authors. His part in co-producing our affordable horror convention called NoCon allowed me to work side by side with him. Despite stretching himself to the limit with these projects, not to mention the pressure of his day job, Mac continued to compose novels and short stories. Many of those short stories found their way into this collection.

  The stories chosen for A VARIABLE DARKNESS plays to Mac’s strengths and they are among the strongest he’s written. These tales are stunning, achingly beautiful, mind-blowing, and on occasion sidesplitting.

  The collection starts strong with Eve, a soul-searching story about death, redemption, and second chances. The theme of second chances comes up often in A VARIABLE DARKNESS. Got Your Back is a novella length tale about a police detective who wakes up one morning with an unusual medical condition and the only cure might be to confesses his involvement in a fatal incident. Frontrunners puts us in the head of a female soldier during a make or break training exercise when things go horrifically wrong. Triggers takes us for one hell of a ride with a man named Ray who has blocked out a traumatic experience when he was a child. We travel along with Ray as various triggers bring those memories to the forefront.

  When it comes to the horrors of love gone wrong, there are few authors who can match Mac’s penchant for titillation and the resulting bad karma that ensues. The Making of Monsters is a detailed study of a man’s steamy affair with a younger woman and the depth he falls as a result. Teacher’s Pet is a story we’ve all read in the news concerning teachers who have trysts with their students, only the climax in this tale is decidedly unusual.

  While all of Mac’s stories deal with some type of horror, when it comes to classic tales of gore, scares, and thrills, Mac is at his best in A VARIABLE DARKNESS. In The Eye of the Beholder, a father goes to great lengths to save his son from creatures in the darkness surrounding his home. Yankee Swap delivers us the tale of a demented man who tortures those who have annoyed him in the past. Mac also takes on the witch trope with In Agatha Cragginse’s Defense, with a conclusion that is delightfully fiendish.

  For those that adore Mac’s offbeat, often profane sense of humor, it doesn’t get any better than A Trunk Story, a laugh-out-loud tale of a husband and wife purchasing a car with an “extra” in the trunk. Be prepared to lose it all over again with From a Purr to a Roar, a tale about a telepathic cat who delights in telling things like they really are.

  I mentioned heartbreak as one of Mac’s strong suits, his tale Nobody’s Daughter is soul crushing. It’s the strongest story in the collection—maybe the best story he has ever written. In Nobody’s Daughter we are introduced to Ammar Sardell, and we follow along with his discovery of a young woman living in the boiler room of his apartment building. The young woman, a drug addict, is not happy her crash pad has been discovered. Initially, she is not fond of Ammar’s attempts at assistance, however he is not deterred. What follows is a tale that will empty your soul and have you mourning the state of humanity.

  As true to its title, A VARIABLE DARKNESS contains stories that cover the spectrum of terror. Though no two tales are alike, when considered as a whole, this collection has a cohesiveness rarely found in anthologies of dark tales. If you’re previewing this introduction, I hope I’ve made a strong enough impression on you to purchase it. If you’ve bought the book and started it here, you are about to begin one hell of a dark journey. As for me, I’m looking forward to many more dinners and margaritas with Mac to discuss these brilliant stories.

  Tony Tremblay

  Goffstown, NH

  August 2020

  EVE

  Guy read the text message. One simple word—not actually a word, but what had become the usual expression of boredom between him and his friends.

  Whazzupp?!

  He had just toggled the send button, responding with the same nonsensical expression, when he felt an impact that spun the vehicle, tearing the steering wheel from his left hand and sending his iPhone hurtling to the rear of the vehicle. Before he could make sense of what was occurring, the Escalade hit the guardrail with enough force to catapult over it and land on its roof on the opposite side. The SUV slid another fifty feet, toppled over the embankment, and rolled four times before coming to rest on the leafy forest floor, one hundred fifty feet away and sixty feet below the highway. He lay on the hillside, halfway between the roadway and his Escalade, having been launched through the shattered side window to collide against a large spruce with jarring force.

  He opened his eyes but didn’t move … not before assessing his condition. He felt no pain, which he found peculiar because he recalled the force with which his body had hit the tree, and he could see the mangled scrap that moments earlier had been a late-model Cadillac Escalade, only months off the showroom floor. He licked his lips and inhaled; no blood or difficulty breathing, only the earthy musk of fallen leaves in the early stages of autumnal decay, mingled with the smell of steam and antifreeze from the vehicle’s fractured engine, which clicked and pinged as it cooled.

  He wiggled his extremities, flexed his arms and legs, and moved his head around. All seemed well, so he gingerly pushed himself into a sitting position, stood up, and bounced on the balls of his feet. He felt a momentary elation that quickly dissolved into dread with the realization of just how deep a pile of shit he’d gotten himself into. He had made only three payments on the seventy-thousand-dollar vehicle. Insurance would most likely contest it once they found out he was texting … and they would find out. They routinely checked phone records nowadays, since texting accidents had become an epidemic. He considered reporting the truck stolen, but just as quickly dismissed it. He’d be caught in that, as well. At least I’m sober, he thought, but it was a small victory … he was screwed any way he looked at it. May as well call 911, tell the truth, and face the music.

  The tumble down the embankment had jammed the doors of his SUV shut except for the rear tailgate, which had folded onto the roof. Searching through the smashed windows, he looked for his phone, but couldn’t find it, and reaching beneath the seats only turned up remnants of shattered glass and other strewn items. He’d have to backtrack up the embankment and look for the phone there. If he couldn’t find it, he could flag someone down from the roadway.

  … If he could only find the embankment.

  Around him lay only forest, flat and dense with trees—endless oaks, birches, locusts and maples in every direction
, rising skyward on thick trunks … and one smashed-up Escalade.

  Guy knew this wasn’t possible, but denial dampened his reaction. Hills don’t simply disappear. There had to be a logical explanation, like shock, or maybe delusions from hitting his head. That had to be it, because he thought he could also see a young girl moving among the trees, about a hundred yards deeper into the woods. He refocused, and sure enough, there she was, dressed in light blue overall shorts, long strawberry-blond hair falling halfway down her back. She appeared to be writing or scraping something onto the trunk of the tree, but it was difficult to tell from such a distance. He took a few hesitant steps toward the child and stopped.

  “Hey, little girl!” He called. “Hey!”

  She looked over at him with indifference and dutifully returned her attention to whatever it was she was doing. He started to walk toward the girl and when he had cut the distance in half, she moved to a tall elm about a dozen trees away from him. She deftly climbed the tree and propped herself at the crux of a branch some sixty feet overhead. There was nothing natural in it, the way she had ascended with the dexterity of a squirrel; Guy had never seen anything quite like it from a human. He watched her for a few moments, wondering if she were avoiding him, but she just as deftly climbed back down and headed in another direction.

  “Wait a minute!” Guy said.

  The little girl stopped and watched him expectantly. She looked about nine years old, thin-limbed, and fawn-like, with vibrant blue eyes. Under closer observation, he realized her hair was dark brown, not strawberry-blond as he had first thought, and attributed it to the play of sun through the trees.